Silence is a whole lot more expensive than communication.

"We can't even do a holiday meal together, why would we have ranch meetings?"

Yep. I hear you.

It feels like putting you and your working family member in the same room is a whole lot like putting a campfire and stack of hay together. Not your brightest idea.

But hear me out here. Avoiding each other and refusing to communicate CREATES problems:

• broken equipment

• hay that doesn't get cut on time

• bulls getting turned out too early, or pulled too late

• mineral not getting put out until the cows are bawling

• a double order of feed that you both called in

• no-show help because "nobody told me we changed the time"

• water tanks bone dry when you thought someone else checked them

• branding day chaos because nobody confirmed the plan, just assumed it was the same as last year

Silence is a whole lot more expensive than communication. And if you really dislike each other that much, are you actually running a successful business together? You can argue it all you want, but the answer is a hard, fast, resounding NO.

So you can keep on running your unsuccessful business with no future, or you can take responsibility and start making some positive changes. (Note: For some situations, this means splitting ways. I just want to add that disclaimer before I move on. I'll let you decide what is YOUR best path forward.)

One small, but impactful change is to start having ranch meetings. They are a simple way to say:

 “Can we clarify who’s handling what today?”

 “Let’s make sure we’re all on the same page before we head out.”

 “I know we don’t always agree, but we’ve got to talk through this.”

Here are my tips for starting this process:

 1. Schedule it. Set a regular time every week. If it helps to call it something other than a "meeting", like maybe a "check-in", do it. You don't need to make a big production out of it, just stick to a rhythm.

 2. Set an agenda and stick to it. You don't need a PowerPoint, but at least hit the main points: cattle moves, equipment repairs, infrastructure maintenance, who's doing what, what's falling through the cracks, etc.

 3. Keep minutes. It doesn't have to be anything formal. Just have someone there to write down what was discussed and who is responsible for what.

 4. Keep it small and focus on the future. You're not here to hash out old resentments. There is a time and place to heal old stuff, but not in the middle of a logistics conversation. Keep the meeting about the work: fixing the tractor, moving the cows, who’s doing what next week. Not who didn’t show up to branding 12 years ago and “hasn’t pulled their weight since.”

 5. Everyone gets a say, but not a standoff. Let everyone weigh in. If you are leading the meeting, make sure everyone gets a chance to speak. Someone might storm out mad. Let them. Stay calm. Don't let them control the temperature in the room. You're doing this to build something better, one conversation at a time.

 6. End with an action item list that is either written down or printed out by the person keeping minutes. Document what is getting done this week and who is doing it.

And that's it. Be kind. Be clear. Be respectful.

Meetings won't fix everything, but they definitely are a step in the right direction.

If this hits home and you’re ready to learn practical tools for better communication, clearer planning, and healthier working relationships on your ranch, then I want to personally invite you to the Ranch Leadership & Dynamics: The People Part of Family Ranching Conference on Nov. 7-8, 2025 in Miles City, MT. (Don't live nearby? That's why they make planes!  Fly into Billings.)

We’ll be digging into exactly this kind of stuff. The hard, messy, necessary work of running a ranch family like a team instead of a ticking time bomb. You’ll walk away with real strategies, not just theory, and maybe even a little hope that things can get better.

Come join us at the conference. Bring your questions, your stubbornness, and maybe even that family member you swore you’d never sit next to in a meeting. You might just surprise yourselves.